HOW TO BUILD A STABLE NETWORK OF FRIENDS: Networking tips

Brian Karen
Apr 20, 2023
5 min read

A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth - Charles Darwin

You must have heard the saying that your network is your net worth. What clicks your mind when you come across this phrase? I wish to introduce to you the term Social Capital. In this case, it refers to the value derived from positive connections between people. To be healthy and wealthy enough is not only to have money and lack diseases but also to have a healthy society around you. Your surrounding matters a lot more than your belongings. This is the reason why people live where they live today. It is also the reason why people build and settle according to their social status. No rich man wants to live in the middle of beggars. In the same way, a poor man always is in the company of another poor man. My statistics have shown that the between success and failure is simply your networking skills. By extension, your customer retention skills also contribute to your success or failure. It is uncontested that everyone you meet is your customer, regardless of whatever product you sell, or service you offer. So the question comes, why didn't they buy your idea, product or services? The answer may be as follows:

Most probably, they never knew you have it. About 80% of opportunities are lost because your target audience does not know what you do or offer. Who is to be blamed for this? A small-scale entrepreneur will buy stock to the last coin, only to remain with nothing for marketing and networking.

Baseball Cap

Buy Now

They know someone else who offers the same product or service. So what will make you sell? What uniqueness do you come with? You need some originality to stand out.
They don't know you, thus they don't trust you. As much as they need that product, they don't trust the provider. To build trust, you need first to build a relationship. The difference between you and the other provider is simply, a relationship.
They never needed it that time, maybe later. Here comes the question, where will they find you later when they need it? Have you networked?

Networking goes beyond telling people your name and what you sell. It is a process of building a relationship with people and sustaining that relationship for as long as possible. It is relationships that increase our social capital.

Mimi and Mic were both in trouble and needed urgent help from a bank to raise cash. Mimi has been banking with Bank X for years now. Mic has never been to this bank before, despite the fact that he is a businessman. The bank is determined to help.

Who between the two will be considered?

0%Mimi
0%Mic

Being socially rich means that you have a stable network of people around you as friends that are in a position to come to your aid whenever you need it. People who can sacrifice their time, money, other resources and even emotions to see you out of trouble and happy again. Social capital also means having people who are ready to support, advise and finance your vision.

Layers in Networking

A healthy and sustainable social capital is built in layers. For you to be safe you need a layer at the top, bottom and around you as follows:

Top layer networks: this is networking with people at higher hierarchical levels. This is a group of people who have "made it" already in terms of age, wealth, wisdom, career, family and any other form of success. They are your mentors, and often they become your destiny connectors. Make your vision known to them. These are kind of people who buy your vision and not your products or services. Learn from their experiences. When in their company, so more of listening than speak. Tap grace from them through service.
Peer-to-peer / Middle layer networks: Iron sharpens iron and birds of the same feather flock together because they can identify one another and mostly understand the needs of one another. The Top layer has served you with their experience. Now you need people to experience with you. This is a kind of network amongst your agemates and people at your level. It is very key in offering emotional support because most of the time they are available. These are friends and family who will push you to go out and sell your vision since themselves they are not in a position yet to buy it. They are a drive to grow.
Bottom layer networks: I also call them mentees or dependants. This is a layer that normally it is neglected by many. We all think that we do not need low-rank people since they are not our type hence they can offer nothing. Remember there is no adult without a child, no riches without poverty, no beauty without ugly, and no boss without slaves. A stable network is one that has a strong layer of people who cheer them up. People in the middle layer may offer you competition. But the bottom layer offers motivation and self-esteem, as they are convinced that you have made it and they want to be like you. You need people to clap for you. So build this network. There is no greater and more fulfilling feeling than when knowing that you inspire someone.

Networking Tips

Here are quick Networking tips to build friendships and sustain relationships of any kind.

Be Intentional: Have an inner drive to do this. It is a deliberate choice to know someone. Do not fear rejection. At least you will have made a step. However good you are, you can never win without participating. Sometimes you may need to promise yourself that you will never lose this relationship at any cost.

Be a giver: One reason you lose networks with people is the fact that you are a parasite. What are you bringing to the table? Always ask yourself. Even and especially when forming the Top Layer Network. Do not be ignorant thinking you have nothing to offer. Never think that you have a right to be heard, and assisted. Not even by your parents. Give your best in that relationship, mostly through service and humility.

Be respectfully bold and courageous: If you don't believe in yourself, who will? Be bold enough to seek attention and tell people who you really are and why you need to connect with them.

Build value for yourself: Do not act in desperation. Do not be desperate for relationships. Build capacity for yourself so that your voice will be heard even before you speak. Package yourself well to attract respect, as it comes before the response. Someone first respects you, before they respond to you.